Long Distance Relationship Questions

Distance takes away the small daily moments where couples learn what the other person is thinking. These 25 questions put some of that back. Use them on a video call, as a morning text, or save a few for the next time you see each other. Want a fresh one every time? Try the random couples questions generator.

25 Questions for Partners Who Are Miles Apart

Long distance works when both people feel included in each other's real life, not just updated on it. A call that is only "how was your day" starts to feel like a status report. A call with one good question in it feels like time together. Pick a section below that fits your mood and take turns answering.

Keeping the Daily Connection Alive

  1. Phone call or video call?
  2. Are you more of a text person or a phone call person?
  3. Do you prefer long texts or quick messages?
  4. How do you feel our communication could improve?
  5. How do you feel when we are apart for a while?
  6. What is your love language and how can I speak it better?
  7. Handwritten letter or typed email?

Memories and Moments Together

  1. What is your favorite memory of us together?
  2. If you could relive one day we spent together, which would it be?
  3. What does a perfect weekend together look like to you?
  4. What does a perfect Sunday morning together look like to you?
  5. What is something new you would like us to try together?
  6. If we could go anywhere in the world together, where would you want to go?
  7. What is the most adventurous thing you want us to do together?

Trust, Space, and Honest Check-Ins

  1. What does trust mean to you in a relationship?
  2. How do you feel about the balance of independence and togetherness in our relationship?
  3. How do you feel about the amount of time we spend together?
  4. What is one fear you have about our future?

Planning the Future Together

  1. What is one thing you are looking forward to in our future together?
  2. What is one thing you want us to accomplish together this year?
  3. How do you feel about planning for the future versus living in the moment?
  4. What does your ideal future look like in five years?
  5. What would your ideal morning routine together look like?

Light and Playful

  1. Would you rather have your dream job but live far from friends or a boring job close to everyone you love?
  2. Are you someone who likes surprises or would you rather know what's coming?

How to Use These on Calls and Texts

Keep it to one or two questions per call. The goal is a real conversation, not a quiz, so let an answer run into a story before you move on. If video calls feel stiff, try starting with a light question and save the heavier ones for when you are both relaxed and not rushed. Text works well for the "which would you pick" type questions, since you can answer whenever you have a minute.

Take turns choosing. When one person always asks and the other always answers, it starts to feel lopsided. Answer your own question first if it is a vulnerable one, and say so when you need to skip. Honest check-ins matter more at a distance, because small worries can grow quietly when you cannot read each other's face in person.

Plan Something to Look Forward To

The hardest part of distance is usually not the missing, it is the open-ended waiting. Questions about the future and about the next visit give the waiting a shape. Ask where you want to go together, what the first morning of your next visit looks like, and what you want to have done by this time next year. Couples who can describe the next reunion and the longer plan tend to handle the in-between weeks better.

For more prompts, browse our couples questions, questions for your boyfriend, and questions for your girlfriend. If you are still early in things, the first date questions and conversation starters are good places to begin, and would you rather and this or that make easy, playful video call games.